Indulgence

People I would grant a plenary indulgence to, if I were the pope:

- Rosie, the woman down the street who freaked out when I was shoveling snow near her car. It's not her fault she's old and fat, and bitter about both aspects of her life. It's just that the sweet, sweet Twinkies keep calling her name.

- Larry Page and Sergey Brin. Yes, Google Buzz is ridiculous and potentially dangerous (look up the succinctly titled "Fuck You, Google" post and read the story); yes, it's unclear why Google seems to think that it will disintegrate if it can't integrate Facebook and Twitter (apparently Google seems to believe that the future of the internet lies in ugly baby pictures and barely formed one-sentence "posts" from the toilets of our collective future); and yes, Google Buzz is a pretty terrible title (though I submit it's a significant improvement over the previous iteration, Orkut). However, Pope Patrick has residual good feeling left over from the Super Bowl ad

- Benedict Arnold. I just feel like we've been hating on him for too long. By all accounts, he was a charming host and served the best whiskey in New York. Surely, we can forgive any man who has a good taste in a tipple.


People who I would not grant a plenary indulgence, and who needn't bother asking for one:

- Judas Iscariot. Still pissed.

- The fat guy across the street in the wifebeater, who complained about where I was shoveling snow, and who appeared to call the police about the issue. It's a snowstorm, douchebag - where did you think we were going to put the snow? At least Rosie was worried about her car: you were worried about snow on the curb. No doubt this is going to interfere with your rigorous power-walking routine, so I guess you won't have any choice but to head back to the deep fryer.

- Harold Ford, who appeared to want to ride rumors started by himself to a New York Senate seat, until a disastrous NYT interview revealed that he knew nothing about anything. Harold, we loved you in Tennessee, but you appear to have fallen rather badly off the rails. Try revealing that you're a sex addict. It's working for Tiger.